30 May 2012

Not-DIY: The roof saga

THE ROOF

THE ROOF

THE ROOF IS ON FIRE

Okay, no. It’s not. Fooled you! But considering all the trouble it’s causing IT MIGHT AS WELL BE. There’s no single part of this whole house selling process that’s been more of a struggle than the roof. I’ve held off writing about it, waiting for the saga to have an ending. But it doesn’t yet. And considering we’re supposed to close on the sale of the house in two days... ahem.

It started, as you may recall, with this:


That storm of walnut-sized hail on Mr. P’s birthday ended up totaling our roof and gutters, as I’ve told you before. The only nice part about that was the large insurance check we received. But then we wrote a check for the same amount a week later as a deposit for a new roof and, well, that fun part was rather fleeting, wasn’t it!

I haven’t updated you since then, but as you might have guessed, we did end up getting a new roof about six weeks ago. I stayed home for the installation, which meant this was my view out of my office window and onto the deck that day:


I was too chicken to get a photo of the workers, so you’ll have to imagine. And don’t worry, the roof was installed before I painted the deck (there has been a pretty intense order of operations we’ve been following around here).

And the noise? Oh my gosh, the noise. Just the sound of the workers walking around on the roof brought on a bout of PTSD from the expensive squirrels-in-the-attic situation I dealt with a few years back. And obviously, the hours of BANG BANG BANG BANGING was not particularly pleasant. I will never tap on a cage or aquarium again.

But hey! New roof!


Basic black for easy-peasy sale, eh?

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the end of the roof-related repairs, as I alluded to at the beginning of the post. First of all, our contact person with the roofing company warned us in advance to take all hanging pictures off the walls and any breakable items (like all the china and silver in the dining room) off shelves. The vibrations from hammer can cause them to fall, you see. But one thing I didn’t anticipate happening was this:


Hard to make out, I know, but that’s the sheetrock covering the drywall screws on the ceiling starting to fall out – or in the case of the screw on the right, actually falling out. It took me a few days of picking up dusty white clumps off of the floor, wondering where on earth they were coming from, before finally realizing the ceiling was falling in oh good grief.

So, we dragged the ladder out of the garage and I got out my spackle knife to patch them back up:


There are two patched spots in there, promise. If you can’t see them? SUCCESS!

But some I couldn’t reach, like those in the first photo. That’s over the 1.5-stories-plus-vaulted-ceiling entryway and I just wasn’t willing to crawl up on the super-tall ladder and fix them. Instead I just crossed my fingers that the buyer either wouldn’t notice or wouldn’t care, and that the inspector wouldn’t mention it. And fortunately, that’s what happened!

The inspector did, however, catch this:


FOOT TRAFFIC ON OUR BRAND NEW FREAKING ROOF CAUSED BY THE INSTALLERS WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT.

The buyer asked us to fix it, and we agreed, because holy hell a month-old roof should not have scuffed-up shingles. So now it’s been a matter of incessantly calling our non-responsive contact at the roofing company (DO NOT GET ME STARTED) to find out when they’re going to come fix that. It’s the only thing left that we have to fix before closing, so maybe send us some good juju that it’ll happen, like, today. Both so we can close on the house, but also for my tenuous sanity.

While I’m glad that the hailstorm came along and helped us get a new roof to sell the house, I gotta say, this roof (and the gutters getting installed, too) has been a pretty big hassle for the last several months. I also gotta say that “pretty big hassle” is a humongous understatement. If you’re selling your house and you want a new roof, it basically needs to be your first action item on the list just in case your experience is like ours. I am fairly sure I could have DIY’d a roof to my standards by this point.

ALSO, I REALIZE THIS POST IS CAPS-LOCKY BUT LIFE IS SORT OF CAPS-LOCKY RIGHT NOW.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to put on my polite voice and call our roofer again, although all I really want to do is shout the last line of the chorus.

2 comments:

Christal said...

Hahaha, I was JUST thinking that you would probably agree with the rest of that song...fingers crossed!!!!

Mechelle said...

If you need to channel someone who can go from blonde to the other b word in 2.5 seconds...feel free...I can send that juju to you. Good luck. I'm sure it'll work out...the buyers probably want to buy the house as bad as you want to sell it and it can't really be all that major of a repair for them if they had to do it. Still-best wishes!!!