Did you all catch this send-up of Pinterest in the New Yorker last week? I was going to save it for my end-of-the-month roundup, but I realized I needed to share it today. Because that article highlights just how ridiculous Pinterest has become, and today I wanted to share why Pinterest and I are on the rocks.
If I were a real blogger – one who cared about monetizing and SEO and perhaps updating my layout more than once every four years – I’d probably suck it up and engage with Pinterest more. As it is, I just have my own simple feed, which I probably shouldn’t show you because then you’d see pretty much everything I’d like to do in the next indeterminate amount of time. And I don’t really use the social aspect of Pinterest much; I have very few re-pins and I follow only a handful of people. The bottom line is, I don’t want my Pinterest cluttered, lest it become like the article above. If I have too many “meh” pins on my boards or in my feeds, I won’t appreciate – or even be able to find! – those things I truly care about.
Which makes it all the more frustrating that Pinterest has these “Related Pins” all over the place nowadays. They used to be somewhat easy to turn off – you could turn off all Related Pins inspired by an entire board (and since I only have a few boards, that was easy). But then they went overboard, such that over HALF my feed was Related Pins. Yes, I emailed and complained. They seem to have backed off a bit – maybe only 20% of my feed is Related Pins now? And I can hide all pins related to a single pin, which is better than hiding just the pin, I guess?
But it’s still annoying, because the “related” pins they show me, 99.9% of the time, is stuff I don’t want cluttering my precious curated boards. Mostly it’s just boring stuff, or things that have floated around Pinterest a million times already, or photos completely redundant to what I’ve already pinned (please Pinterest, I do not need 80 pins of gray baby cardigans). But occasionally, it’s hilariously bad how much Pinterest fails to understand what I’m interested in. This is me every dang time I go to my feed now:
And so. I thought I’d ease a bit of the frustration by showing you the best “Related” Pins, and by best I mean ABSOLUTE WORST. Hand to God, these all showed up in my feed as Related Pins – I didn’t just go hunting for weird or horribly unrelated pins, promise. And while the pins themselves may be just fine, they are clearly only fine for SOMEONE ELSE. Behold, what Pinterest thinks I am interested in!
Pinterest wants me to washi tape fresh flowers to a wall.
A wedding cake. A pretty enough cake, but inexplicable considering I got married BEFORE I ever joined Pinterest and therefore haven’t pinned a single thing for a wedding.
Playing card jewelry organization. Oh definitely, that’s totally the most efficient way to organize my jewelry drawer.
Hunger Games cross-stitch. Pinterest, when have I ever expressed interest in Hunger Games or cross-stitching?!
A faux-floral bustier. Be looking for this little number in “What I wore” soon!
Yarn friendship bracelets. The sort I made at summer camp in 1995. I think you mistook me for a millenial, Pinterest.
Plastic bell peppers. Sure, those are totally related to the bell pepper recipes I’ve posted. Totally the same thing.
On the baby front: bright colors and wild patterns. Clearly they missed my post about a simple, neutral nursery.
Ditto x2. Actually x1000, but let’s move on lest this whole post become photos of nurseries that clearly do not belong in my house. But we’re not done with babies...
A leopard print boppy/bumbo hybrid... snowpants-combined-with-inner-tube... thing? What the heck? Um, Pinterest. I don’t need that much baby gear, and anyway, you’re reaching.
Oh what’s that? An ATV diaper cake? Pinterest, I just cannot even.
Let’s move on to décor. I’ve never gotten into the dip-dying trend, and therefore I have exactly zero dip-dyed pins. Pinterest not only failed to notice, but showed me the MOST EXTREME example of a dip-dyed look I’ve ever seen. Holy moly. (At least it’s gold?)
Skateboard chairs. Skateboard chairs that will be perfect for my soft neutral living room, according to Pinterest.
The infamous tire ottoman. I say infamous because this pin WILL NOT GO AWAY. Pinterest really thinks I have an extra tire (maybe they are confusing me with Amalah? nah, I'm nowhere near as funny) and they think I should turn into a very low, awkward, tire-shaped ottoman.
Granted, this is a list of FIFTEEN items for upgrading a rental, but I think a wallpapered refrigerator is enough of a disincentive to avoid clicking through for the rest.
And finally, the most baffling “related” pin of all:
A very detailed guide for how to make lightweight angel wings.
Oh Pinterest, please stop. Our relationship is tenuous at best, and now you’re suggesting I wear faux floral bustiers and collect skateboards so I can turn them into chairs. If you really understood what I like and how I use Pinterest, there would be no related pins. Sorry, but I can’t keep calm, and there won’t be carrying on.